I used to start every session asking parents "What's the problem?"

Big mistake.

It immediately puts the teen on the defensive and the parent in complaint mode. The whole dynamic shifts to blame.

Now I start with one question: "What does your family look like when things are going well?"

That single reframe does three things:

• It reminds everyone that good moments exist (they just forgot)

• It gives the teen a voice — they get to describe what THEY want too

• It creates a shared goal instead of a shared problem

Try it tonight at dinner. Don't say "how was your day" — say "tell me about the best part of today."

You'll be surprised how much one question can open up.

If you want more frameworks like this, I'm building a free community for parents and teens who want to strengthen their relationship. Come join us.