I've written sales copy for coaches and course creators for a while now, and 9 times out of 10 the same problem shows up in the first three sentences of their sales page.

Here's the rule: your reader should know who this is for, what changes for them, and why now — before they finish sentence three. Not your credentials. Not your origin story. Not "in today's world."

Most coaches lead with themselves. "I've helped 500+ students..." Cool, but the reader doesn't care yet — they're still deciding if this page is even for them.

Compare:

• ❌ "I've spent 10 years teaching people how to build online businesses."

• ✅ "If you've got an audience but no offer, this is the exact framework I use to turn followers into $2-5k months."

The second one filters and hooks in one move. It tells the right person to keep reading and gives them a reason to.

A free way to test this on your own page: cover everything after sentence three. If a stranger couldn't tell you who it's for and what they'd get, rewrite it before touching anything else — headline, testimonials, pricing, all of it comes second.

Happy to look at anyone's opening lines if you drop them below.