Most dating advice tells you to "communicate your needs." But nobody talks about what to do when someone's behavior is the communication — and it's saying two different things depending on the week.

Here's a framework that cuts through mixed signals fast. I call it the 3-Signal Pattern Filter.

Signal 1: Contact Rhythm

Not how often they text — but how predictable their contact is. Someone who texts 40 messages on Monday and disappears until Thursday isn't "busy." They're inconsistent. Consistency isn't volume. It's pattern.

Ask yourself: If I stopped initiating, what would their natural rhythm look like?

Signal 2: Follow-Through

This is the gap between what someone says and what actually happens. "Let's hang out this weekend" means nothing if it's Wednesday and they still haven't locked in a plan.

Track it: Write down the last 3 plans they suggested. How many actually happened — without you driving it forward?

Signal 3: Tone

Not what they say, but how the conversation feels. Is it warm and present? Or does it shift between engaged and flat depending on their mood? Tone tells you where you actually stand in someone's life.

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When you stack all three signals together, the picture gets very clear very fast. You stop needing to "have the talk" because the data already told you.

🟢 Green: All three signals are consistent. This person shows up.

🟡 Amber: One or two signals are off. Worth watching, not worth chasing.

🔴 Red: All three are inconsistent. You already know. You just haven't admitted it yet.

This is one small piece of the full system inside Date With Clarity Without Chasing Inconsistent Attention — which also includes the Mixed-Signal Exit Readiness Checklist, a Boundary Wording Framework for real conversations, and a 14-Day Clarity Reset to rebuild your baseline.

If you're tired of agonizing over someone who can't show up consistently, this might be exactly what you need.