Most people think they lose negotiations because they're not aggressive enough. That's rarely the real problem.

The actual mistake: going into a negotiation without a number.

Not a vague "I'd like more" — an actual number. A target price. A walk-away point. Something you decided on before emotions, awkward silence, or a good sales pitch entered the room.

Here's why this matters so much:

• Without a target, you anchor to whatever they say first. If they open with a number, your brain immediately starts negotiating around their number instead of yours.

• Without a walk-away point, you don't know when to actually walk. So you keep negotiating past the point where the deal stopped being good for you.

• Without either, silence becomes your enemy. The other side pauses, you get uncomfortable, and you fill the silence with a concession nobody asked for.

Try this before your next negotiation — salary, a deal, even splitting a bill on a disputed charge:

1. Write down your target number (the best realistic outcome).

2. Write down your walk-away number (the point where "no deal" beats "this deal").

3. Decide who should speak first — usually, if you have solid market info, you should anchor first.

That's it. Three lines on a notepad before you say a single word out loud. It sounds simple because it is — but almost nobody does it, which is exactly why it works.

What's a negotiation you're prepping for right now? Happy to help think through the numbers.