A short, practical guide for couples about to move in together, or struggling since they did.

1. Money talk comes before the lease, not after the first bill. Decide up front: split evenly, by income percentage, or by category. Revisit it once, three months in, once you know real costs.

2. Chores fail as a vague agreement and work as a specific list. “We’ll split things fairly” always breaks down. Assign actual tasks to actual people, in writing if you have to.

3. Protect one space or one time as truly yours. Living together fails fastest when neither person has anywhere to just decompress alone. A room, a chair, or even a standing solo walk counts.

4. Different cleanliness standards aren’t a compatibility problem, they’re a negotiation. Find the middle standard you can both actually live with and agree on it explicitly.

5. Fights about dishes are rarely about dishes. They’re about feeling like the relationship’s effort isn’t equal. Address the real complaint, not just the chore chart.

6. Give it a real adjustment period. Two to three months of friction while you learn each other’s habits is normal, not a red flag.

Plain language, no fluff. Just what to actually do.