A short, practical guide for couples where jealousy or broken trust keeps causing fights.

1. Name what kind of jealousy this is. Reactive (something specific happened) needs a repair plan. Anxious (nothing happened, but you still worry) needs a different approach entirely. Treating them the same makes both worse.

2. For reactive jealousy: agree on a repair plan, not just an apology. Specific, checkable actions for a set period of time, with an end date. Trust rebuilds through consistency, not promises.

3. For anxious jealousy: name it out loud before it becomes an accusation. “I’m spiraling about something that probably isn’t true, can we just check in?” lands very differently than an interrogation.

4. Checking their phone won’t fix the feeling. It gives short relief and then makes the anxiety worse. Address the underlying worry directly with your partner instead.

5. Set one boundary you both actually agree to, instead of ten vague rules. A specific, mutual boundary gets followed. A long list of restrictions breeds resentment.

6. Know when it’s not about trust anymore. If reassurance never sticks no matter what your partner does, that’s worth looking at on its own, separate from the relationship.

Plain language, no fluff, no therapy jargon. Just what to actually do.