If you keep ending up in the same kind of relationship — the one that feels familiar but hurts — it's probably not bad luck. It's a pattern rooted in how you learned to attach as a child.

Here are the 4 core attachment wounds I see over and over:

1. The Abandonment Wound

You panic when someone pulls away. You over-give, people-please, and lose yourself trying to keep them close. Deep down you believe: "If I'm not needed, I'll be left."

2. The Betrayal Wound

Trust feels impossible. You're hyper-vigilant, always scanning for lies. Intimacy triggers your guard because the people who were supposed to protect you didn't.

3. The Rejection Wound

You hide parts of yourself — your opinions, your needs, your anger — because you learned early that being "too much" makes people leave.

4. The Enmeshment Wound

You don't know where you end and your partner begins. Boundaries feel like betrayal. You confuse codependency with love because that's what love looked like growing up.

Recognizing the wound is the first step. The second step is learning that the wound is not your identity — it's something that happened TO you, and you can heal from it.

I write AI-powered digital books breaking down each of these patterns with practical tools for rewiring your attachment style. If this hit home, the library might be for you.