I spent years thinking I was 'too much' — checking my phone every 5 minutes waiting on a reply, spiraling when someone took too long to text back, needing constant reassurance from every friendship and relationship I had. Every self-help book told me to 'just feel secure.' Cool. How?

Here's what actually shifted it for me: anxious attachment isn't really about the other person. It's a nervous system that learned early on it couldn't fully trust being loved without earning it. You can do all the boundary-setting scripts and communication frameworks in the world, but if the core belief underneath is 'I have to perform to be worthy of love,' it'll keep showing up in every relationship — friends, partners, even God.

The piece nobody talks about: healing anxious attachment as a Christian isn't just nervous-system regulation, it's a theology problem too. If you believe God's love is conditional on your consistency, your quiet time streak, or how 'good' you've been this week — you will attach anxiously to Him too, and that anxiety bleeds into every other relationship.

The actual work is re-anchoring your nervous system AND your theology to one fact: you are already fully loved, right now, not on approval. Not after you fix the anxious behaviors. Now. Secure attachment starts there, not with a communication script.

If you're in this season — journaling is one of the most underrated tools for it, because it forces you to name the anxious thought and hold it up against what's actually true. Rooting that process in Scripture instead of generic affirmations makes it stick differently. 🤍