Why "she was scared" doesn't work (and what to write instead)
If you've hit Chapter 2, you've run into the golden rule: show, don't tell. Most beginners nod along, agree it makes sense, and then keep writing "he was angry" anyway. Here's why — and the actual fix.
Telling is faster to write, so your brain defaults to it. But telling skips the part readers actually want: living the moment through the character's body and senses.
The fix isn't "never use feeling words." It's this simple swap:
Write the telling sentence first. Don't fight it — it's just a placeholder. "She was scared."
Ask: what would her body actually do? Hands shaking, breath caught, eyes locked on the door.
Replace the label with the physical evidence. "Her hands wouldn't stop shaking, and she couldn't take her eyes off the door."
That's it. You're not adding flowery language — you're translating an emotion into a picture.
Drop a "telling" sentence from your current draft below and I'll help you turn it into a "showing" one. Best rewrite gets pinned. 🖋️
