Boys drop the dirtiest pick-up lines so ladies can write them down ... like "get in the van"- this works everytime ...

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I told my therapist I have a preoccupation with vengeance. She said, 'We’ll see about that.'"

Give a man a plane ticket, and he flies for a day. Push a man out of a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life

Most Embarrassing Gym moments:

Did you hear about This Nigerian Gym instructor who impregnated three women who wanted flat tummy for their Christmas😂??

I bought her a diamond ring, she sold it and bought her Ex boyfriend an iphone. Its cold outside bro!!!

Most people's DMs are a graveyard of unanswered "hey" messages. Here's why — and 5 openers that actually get replies.

The problem with "hey": It puts all the creative labor on the other person. You're basically saying "entertain me." Nobody wants that.

What works instead:

1. "I just saw something that reminded me of you" — then describe literally anything. A dog wearing sunglasses. A weird flavor of chips. It's personal and low-pressure.

1. "Hot take: [controversial but fun opinion]" — "Hot take: cereal is soup" instantly creates a conversation because people HAVE to respond.

1. "I need a second opinion on something weird" — curiosity is undefeated. Follow up with something genuinely weird.

1. "You strike me as someone who [specific observation]" — shows you actually pay attention.

1. "I was going to play it cool but honestly [genuine statement]" — vulnerability wins.

The pattern: All of these give the other person something easy to respond to. That's the whole game.

I post stuff like this daily on SayThis — poems, jokes, dark humor, and lines you'll actually want to screenshot. $2.99/mo if you never want to run out of things to say.