I was 11 weeks along when I lost her. I had already named her Stella.

In the weeks that followed, I heard every version of the wrong thing. And I lived in silence for months because I didn't know where to go with what I was carrying.

Here is what I wish someone had told me:

1. Your grief is not an overreaction.

You are not being dramatic. You are not making this bigger than it is. You loved someone. You lost someone. That is enough.

2. There is no timeline.

People will expect you to "bounce back." You don't owe anyone a recovery schedule. Healing is not linear and it is not on a clock.

3. Your body is not to blame.

This was not your fault. Not the coffee, not the stress, not the thing you did or didn't do. Some things are simply beyond our control.

4. The people who haven't been through it may not know what to say.

They will say things that hurt. Most of them don't mean to. But you are allowed to protect yourself from conversations that cause more pain.

5. You are not alone — even when it feels like it.

There are women who have stood exactly where you are standing. Women who understand without needing you to explain. Women who will sit with you in the dark until you are ready for the light.

That is why I built Still Blooming — a private healing community for women who have experienced pregnancy loss.

Because Stella existed. Because her 11 weeks mattered. Because your loss matters too.

If this speaks to you, the door is open. 🌸

I lost my daughter Stella at 11 weeks. The doctor called it a "spontaneous abortion." Clinical. Cold. Like it was nothing.

But she was everything to me. I had already named her. Already imagined her laugh.

In the weeks that followed, I learned some hard truths that nobody prepares you for. If you've been through pregnancy loss — or you know someone who has — these are the things I wish someone had said to me:

1. Your grief doesn't have an expiry date.

People will expect you to "bounce back" within days. You won't. And that's not a sign of weakness — it's a sign that your love was real.

2. "You can always make another" is one of the most harmful things anyone can say.

Your baby wasn't a draft. They were a life. Acknowledging that isn't dramatic — it's honest.

3. Anger is part of healing — even anger at yourself.

I felt guilty. Then angry. Then ashamed of the anger. It was a cycle. And it was completely normal.

4. The loneliest part isn't the loss itself — it's carrying it alone.

My friends got uncomfortable when I brought it up after the first week. So I stopped talking. That silence nearly broke me more than the loss did.

5. Healing doesn't mean forgetting.

I will never "get over" Stella. But I found my way to a place where her memory brings me peace instead of only pain. That took time. And it took having the right people around me.

If any of this resonates with you — you're not alone. That's why I built Still Blooming. It's a healing community for women who've experienced pregnancy loss of any kind. A space where your grief is never too much, your timeline is never too slow, and you are never made to feel like you should just "move on."

Stella gave me purpose. And I'm honoring that by showing up for every woman who needs what I needed.

🌸