I used to think closing deals was about having the perfect pitch. Then I noticed the top performers on every team I worked with barely talked at all on discovery calls — they just asked one good question and shut up.

Here's the framework that changed how I run every conversation now, whether it's a sales call, a 1-on-1 with someone I manage, or a hard conversation with my partner:

1. The 70/30 rule. In any conversation where you need buy-in, you should be talking 30% of the time, max. The other person needs to hear themselves think out loud — that's how they convince themselves, not you.

2. Reflect before you respond. Before adding your opinion, restate what you heard in your own words. "So what I'm hearing is X — did I get that right?" This alone eliminates 80% of miscommunication and makes people feel truly heard (which builds more trust than any pitch ever will).

3. Silence is a tool, not a gap to fill. Most people rush to fill silence after asking a question. Don't. The best information comes out in the 3-5 seconds after someone thinks they're done talking.

We've got two ears and one mouth for a reason. I wrote a short, practical ebook breaking this down further — frameworks you can use in your very next conversation, whether it's a sale, a leadership moment, or a relationship that needs repair. Happy to share it if it's useful to anyone here.